I know I ruined all of my early years, I know everything is about to get serious in a year

Maybe if I had taken a normal route and gone to school, gotten work, had a normal life it wouldn't be like this

But I'm here 16 hours a day doing nothing. It feels like it's time to let go of the thing I can't save. I feel I've reached the end before I've reached death

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To me: what was the consequence of your desperation, what was the consequence of detatching from life?